The society will continue to go digital. People buy even human connection digitally nowadays. And will continue to do so even more. But isn’t it ironic? That people want to connect with another human being, yet don’t even want to talk to her before they buy her? Here’s why I’ll always want to do things soul to soul. Why I don’t communicate with strangers by text messages.
Text messages are the wrong tool for connecting with strangers It is not for nothing that people have bought human connection for centuries. And I mean human connection, not sex in disguise of human connection. Buying sex is another matter even though human connection can indeed include sex. After all, sex is the physicalization of the abstract intangiblehuman connection. But I mean human connection – the company of and connecting with another human being.
Think about it – if we want to connect with another human being, we have to talk to them. I described the essence of this argument in this article. We have to talk to the human being to see whether we will gel, click, connect. Whether we will spark that spark which will draw us to meeting. And whether there is potential for us to have a good time. But how can we know whether we will connect if we don’t talk?
Text messages are not talking. They’re writing. The problem with writing is that it is widely open to interpretation. One statement can mean different things to different people as we all think differently and make different meaning of ‘the same’ statement. Plus we don’t hear the voice nor feel the breath and energy of our correspondent. The voice, breath, pauses, and energy are irreplaceable because they tell a lot about a person. And they tell a lot to our intuition. When we talk to someone, we sense the meaning of what they tell us. We sense whether the person is drunk, drugged, sincere, hesitant, or saying something out of politeness or obligation with what s/he doesn’t earnestly agree. These messages are critical when you’re getting to know a stranger – especially a stranger whom you’re planning to give time, money, energy, and trust to celebrate your time off and the finer moments in life with.
Text messages can be dangerous This applies more from my point of view than from yours. Because when you respond to my ad by a text message, you’re you. But when I get the text message, I don’t know that you’re you. I cannot know because anyone can send a text message. Without hearing your voice I have no way of knowing that you’re you. Some men lend their phones to their family members. So the text message in response to my ad could come from a child. Or a vengeful wife or partner. The only way for me to know is to talk to the writer.
And if I do things ethically and morally, I feel responsibility to check out whether you’re you and not your child who borrowed your phone! Or your vengeful wife or partner. After all, if I think highly of discretion, should I not protect yours as much as I can? It costs nothing to do so and makes the world better for you, me, and your family.
Text messages are often scams Another thing in today’s world full of creative people is that a lot of creativity goes into scams. People want easy money for no work, so create scams. One way to fight them is to play a clean honest game, because scammers operate on dishonesty. So to ensure that I’m dealing with a genuine enquirer I prefer to call and talk to the person. And it works the other way around. After all, anyone can post an ad and forget about it over time as I described in this article. So how do you know whether the advertiser hasn’t changed phone number? Call her instead of sending a text message. There will never be a replacement for voice to voice, soul to soul, person to person contact. Especially and doubly so if your goal is to establish a romantic relationship with the stranger.
Have you burnt your fingers? Have you been scammed? Or encountered a fake? That’s because you made some strategic mistake. Perhaps one of these three. Or the one of communicating with strangers by text message and not hearing their voice. As a coach who coaches men not to make basic mistakes I can help you find out what you do wrongly and can do better. Would you like to talk?
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